England

10 Things European Man Taught Me

London September 19, 2017
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the gorgeous rooftop at Boundary Shoreditch

I suppose this shouldn’t be my first blog post after a year away from blog settling in London. The life in London as difficult to imagine to anyone not living in a big city, though originally from Taipei and by far from my knowledge it is a capital, the London metropolitan charisma can love and kill you in one glimpse.

So…I was in Madrid this spring sampling the best of the capital at Mercado de San Miguel with the Argentinian girl I met at hostel whose bed sleeps right next to me. She asked me why I moved to London and about my life in London. I was pretty much under big pressure at that time and let it all out, when her eyes half watery with tear in a mix of enlightenment sparkle, knowing from heart that we are adventurous girls that traveled half the globe to find what we want and someone had led us to bond in the hostel at Puerta del Sol for this particular special moment.
In short, she said: “Life is all about finding, we find for work, we find for food, we find for love.” The last sentence “we find for love” shook me heavily as for some reason I always thought I can sing Coldplay’s A Sky Full of Star and it would be the shiniest twinkle falling from the sky.
Fast forward to now in London, I’ve been meeting and working on an experiment from a social app and real friend’s friend to know more about European guy. Here’s what they taught me:

 

1. Meeting guy is like an interview
No kidding that European guy is the nicest, funniest and quirkiest mankind I’ve met, but meeting them is another story. I’d always hear feedback from my friend of how European guy thought about me and if they want to hang out together further when there’s group event. So far I’ve passed all their tests and you can’t deny their sensitiveness about a woman, though it’s the same throughout the world, European do have a special lens, a one I am still trying to figure out what that implies.

2. Relationship no?
Of course not, we haven’t met each other and you ask me if we are in a relationship. I am really interested to know what stocks this man’s brain, revealing the truth- he is this one cute smart romantic guy working at leading investment banking. Investment banking? What happened to his brain on this side of the earth?

3. The dating rule
It’s not going to a nightclub where they suck you out, (well, perhaps that depends on the person as well) alternatively a nice rooftop bar giving your heart away to the city while sharing a drink knowing each other. The bill? Sorry, I didn’t know the rule in courtesy taking out my card to go Dutch as guys in Asia love the girl to play the gesture game, whereas the waiter smiley stared at this guy waiting for him swiftly say: “ I pay.” One of my girl friends told me it’s a rule in London as well, no matter whether they like the girl or not, the rule is- guy pay. (Fine, the waiter might have heard our conversation all night through and thought we were hilarious, haha)

4. His-story & Her-story
European really always have a lot to chat about as in many forms, any topics, you really have to be on top of the trend of the world, the community to have words to pitch in. Same as dating, I thought I would want to dig a hole as I am clueless where to start out this conversation as guys in Asia can really make things worst in shying away. Nope, not here, they’ll start off themselves introducing their story, then your story, as it seems if we have known each other years ago but starting all over again to know each other better.

5. 50 Shades of European Man
As in there might be mind game in the middle, however, their directness of what they want, what they are looking for really baffled me away of how straightforward(and honest?) they are, in which the play of a game of seduction had me thinking is there a Mr.Grey in real life? And no, I didn’t sign anything formally if you were wondering! Let’s be direct here as well- it’s a French thing, google up and you’ll find how romanticly incroyable they are.

6. Live at the moment
It’s all about that moment, that specific moment, when the feeling is right and you forgot how freezing the temperature just dropped over the night and the tube is nowhere in sight, the world is lost and all you remember is that Grand Central movie scene.

7. Meeting location
Undoubtedly guy will always ask you out somewhere public near his place, be the smart girl, you know where that would lead to and if you want or not. No more explanation here.

8. Tea or Coffee?
Don’t randomly talk about coffee, it’s the secret code! Well some know, and some don’t, but I would think they all know, and some just act dumb in googling them up! Foremost when a guy asked what’s your favourite coffee, and when you replied “Americano”, he responded his favourite is “Espresso”, the next thing you realised was “How can I be your specially made Americano?” Why are we making this dead Latin secret code alive? And- choose beans not make Americano you sweetheart!

9. Figure is a sexy diplomat
How you dress, how you talk, and your figure speaks about you entirely. It is a world culture, but where human DNA body figure differs due to regions, I always admire European of their boneless structure. Forget about their boneless, go exercise, peach emoji, London does have its pressure as walking out of your door, everyone represents their region, their nation, it’s a diplomatic etiquette. But I suppose I know another reason of this diplomat. Welcome to London!

10. No subject
To conclude, I do like how straightforward Europeans are, my friend laughs at me saying I am one hella kind of Southern European and is on my way to explore London in a fascinating way. True, as next month mark my 1 year in London and the first year was really hectic, still now it has it’s hard part, but hey- if I haven’t come out of my sweet home comfort zone in Asia, how would I know the world is my oyster and you met a random guy on the app meeting in person and realised you both share the same birthday? The world is unbelievable, and to be in London meeting nice and crazy men are one of the craziest as well.

Bisous x

 

ps- perhaps I have a qurikiness writing these kinds of topic other than traveling?

 

沒想到來到倫敦後發表的第一篇文章會是以這樣的主題和大家見面。倫敦的生活是如果沒有來到大都會生活過的人很難想像的多層無法拆解的面貌,就算從小在台北這首都長大,還是讓我無法全部吸收這城市給的活水,它可以對著妳深情的唱愛妳一萬遍,也可以在下一秒把妳的生活活生生吃掉的讓人淚流滿面。

一切的故事來自於五月的西班牙旅行。在太陽廣場的hostel邂逅同樣一個人來旅行的阿根廷女孩,十點垂幕我們到Mercado de San Miguel饗食首都裡最熱鬧繽紛的美食市集,聊著彼此的文化,我為何到倫敦以及在倫敦做什麼。人的緣份是一件難能可貴的事,各自飛了半個地球遠在這城市相遇,心心相席的感覺猶如一見如故,她聽了我的故事後,淚水半濕的在眼匡打轉,似乎和她的生命產生了共鳴,在尋找那不可思議的線索。

那一晚她令我留下印象最深刻的一句話是 “Life is all about finding, we find for work, we find for food, we find for love.” 尤其最後一句 “we find for love” 猶如當頭棒喝把我的頭不知扎了幾回,讓我夢幻似的以為唱著Coldplay A Sky Full of Star,夜晚最閃亮的星會自己掉下來許出我的願望。

時間快轉到現在的倫敦,好奇的從社交平台上做了實驗及對友人男性朋友的認識後,以下是10件那一些歐洲男生教我的事:

1. 跟歐洲男生認識猶如面試一樣
歐洲男生是我見過最風趣、幽默、傻脫,當然不免俗人人都有的小白精神。但他們給人的壓力也實在很大,見了面後會馬上回饋女性友人「剛那女生如何」、「她給人的感覺」以及下一次聚會時她適不適合加入大夥的週末烤肉或團體活動。他們對女生的敏感度與觀察力,實在是不敢恭維的非常細膩,而姐至目前為止都有通過這些孩子們的考驗,也很努力在試著瞭解歐洲人的獨到眼光。

2. 我們交往吧?
為何要?只是社群網站上純聊天, 連面都還沒見卻問要不要交往,實在服了歐洲腦袋破洞的男生。我也很驚人的回覆問—你確定我是女的嗎。但因真的太好奇彼此的廬山真面目,認識了後才知道是聰明絕頂在大間投資銀行上班的超可愛浪漫小哥。不知他這一塊的腦神經長在哪兒呢?

3. 約會潛規則
當然不是在吵雜夜店亂吃豆腐的地點才是約會地點,而是要在美令人的窒息,俯覽城市夜景的屋頂酒吧點一瓶酒或各自喝一杯才是像樣的夜晚。初來乍到不知道規則,畢竟在亞洲男生最愛女生作勢要付錢,然後很霸氣紳士的說自己付。但這裡是有潛規則的—就算我很禮貌的拿出了卡說平分,男生也拿了卡,服務生會長大眼睛盯著對座對象直到他輕描淡寫如風瀟灑的呢喃:我全付,才算是合格人才。我想服務生也是有默默在觀察打分數中。據朋友說這是倫敦約會潛規則,無論這一晚如何,你喜不喜歡這女孩,男生就是要紳士的付錢。我想服務生萬萬沒想到那麼晚還會有一桌的傻對話讓他提提振士氣直到天明吧。

4. 他她的故事
歐洲人非常會聊天,上知天文,下知地理,隨時都要知道國際時事,周遭發生的新鮮事及補充自己的內涵來加入任何討論話題。以為會乾到不行的約會,讓人想起在亞洲有一些人的聊天內容實在會恨不得人間蒸發,但這一次是我自己超怕尷尬的很想找勺子鑽地洞⋯⋯⋯卻忘了歐洲人會展現天性的主動找話題聊,以this is my story, what’s your story 來瞭解彼此,本以為會尷尬不行的夜晚,頓時變得有趣似久違的朋友從新認識彼此。

5. 坦率的直爽
所謂直接是不拐彎抹角有話直說,什麼話題都可以聊,心理戰哪一個男男女女沒有,但這裡會少了非常多繁瑣累人不必要的過程。當然豆腐腦也會來不一樣的明的灰的各種暗示自己想要做什麼,並祭出還不錯的招數和誘因,有時看了實在覺得這一些歐洲男生真有趣。而這其中的直接也包含了誠實,但我想這也因人而異,所謂一開始大家講明白要來玩一場致命的愛的追逐遊戲,以為格雷的五十道陰影出現在生活中還要簽合約呢。這坦率的瘋狂直爽來自浪漫百分的法國人,他們的奇葩愛情觀可搜尋谷哥發現不可思議的內容。

6. 美好時刻
就是當下的感覺,氣氛對了,凜冽大風的地鐵站都會讓妳忘了突然驟降的溫度,整個世界只剩下這一齣地鐵電影場景。

7. 約會地點
毫無疑問男生一定會選擇離自己家近的地方,當個聰明的女孩,長這麼大了要聽得懂玄外之音以及自己要和不要什麼。以下不再多做說明。

8. 茶或咖啡
不要亂拿喝咖啡開玩笑,當妳說妳最喜歡喝的是Americano,他說是Expresso時,下一秒卻問妳「要怎麼讓我變成妳的特調Americano」時,不要讓這可怕拉丁語言復活啊!!!!茶和咖啡是回家的神秘暗號,當然我相信很多人知道這暗號,也有裝傻去查谷哥裝清純,無論如何自己享受到最愛的咖啡館喝咖啡就好,畢竟⋯Americano哪還需要特調,不就嚴選好豆子嗎?噢對了, 喉糖也是一種暗示。

9. 身材的外交手腕
身在倫敦,每一個人都代表著自己國家,一舉一動的說話方式,服裝穿搭各個體現外交禮儀。在這裡看到天生骨感的歐洲身型,掐了自己也不會變扁的痛苦,讓人學會要自己鍛鍊出自己的型,而身材或許也是另一種外交手腕?歡迎來到倫敦!

10. 無題
總結以上,歐洲人的直爽讓人覺得很乾脆,朋友一直大笑我大概上輩子是南歐人搬來倫敦發現這不思議的世界所以很欣賞這樣的直來直往。是的,下個月會是我來倫敦的第一年,當然這過程超艱辛,現在也沒好到哪的持續努力中,但我總是想著「如果沒來到倫敦⋯⋯⋯」,妳不會發現這世界這麼大,在網路上跟人聊天卻發現他跟妳同一天生日!這世界總是驚喜不斷的等我們去探索,而在倫敦體悟兩性文化的差異也是其中一項。

 

x

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